Photo: Arianne Clement
I have recently found myself in countless scenarios that leave me feeling, well...old.
And I love it. I could have titled this post "Ways to keep yourself young" or "50 is the new 20" or "Aging gracefully with Botox" or any other number of phrases someone approaching 40 has heard a million times. But I want to feel old- or older at least. The thought of trying to look or act or feel younger than I am is just not appealing to me. Isn't there a deep comfort that comes with knowing yourself a little better each year?
“Aging is not ‘lost youth’ but a new stage of opportunity and strength.”– Betty Friedan
Now, believe me, I am not writing any of this naively. I am not someone who has gone through life without challenge- blissfully unaware of the potential struggles of life. I am someone who knows that the more pain and loss and challenge you face- the more opportunity for growth and strength. So, what can you do to be sure you have daily opportunities to be reminded that you are not 20 something anymore?
Tip #1 - live with a teenager
That's it. Just put a teenager in the same space as you. They don't have to do much- you don't have to interact with them. Just observe them. Make sure you try to make eye contact with them at least once a day so you get the annoyed and belittling "uh, Mom" look. Listen to them talk on the phone. You won't have a damn clue what is happening or who they are talking about. Unless it's Taylor Swift, then you will know everything they are talking about. You will have such a keen understanding of the phenomenon that is Taylor Swift that you will start to feel weird about it. Why do you know this much about this woman? Why do you know every outfit she wore on the Era's Tour? Why is your Spotify filled with her albums...why? WHY!?!?
Tip #2 - work with people younger than you
My students make so many references. So many references that I do not get. Some are so lost on me that I can't even deduce what the hell they are talking about based on context. Some ask to sing songs that are from TikTok (yes, I just spelled it Tick Tock before anxiously looking around and deleting ferociously). I'm like sure, we can sing those songs but just so you know they were written 50 years ago. They are remotely phased. They simply offer a chill, "Slay."
Tip #3 - Join YAP tracker
This is a singer-specific tip. If you have not had the pleasure of being part of the YAP (Young Artist Programs) tracker community let me tell you what a membership would grant you. Each morning you will wake up to an email sharing new postings for auditions and competitions. The competitions are where the gold is (pun intended). It will be extremely unlikely that a competition will be open to anyone under the age of 35. Many cut off at 30. If you do find one open to the geriatric singers you will likely have to shell out a hefty application fee and/or be prepared to fly to Europe or meet some dude named Gerald in the back of a NYC alley for the preliminary round. I'm telling you, open this email first thing in the morning before you even get out of bed. You will feel ancient instantly.
Tip #4 - Have multiple chronic illnesses
Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, makes you feel older than feeling fatigued All. The. Time. You wake up feeling like you have been hit by a bus. You exercise, do yoga, stretch, eat right, you do all the things and sometimes you're left feeling like your body just can't even move. You can't go to the store without feeling wiped out after. You delay going out with your toddler because maybe your gait is really off that day and walking with cause more back pain. You have to squint to read anything because your vision is constantly blurry no matter what you do. Believe me, I could go on.
Tip #5 - write a blog post in a trendy coffee shop
Yep. You guessed it. I am sitting in an awesome coffee shop in Newport Beach surrounded by a bunch of Gen Zs. I feel inherently and unavoidably nerdy as I order my Matcha and ask when the kitchen closes. Judging by the barista's reaction that was not a thing. The kitchen closed when the coffee shop did. Duh, Molly. I also got some side eye from asking if a table was being used before I plopped my bag down. Super uncool. Apparently the less questions the better. It's a rare rainy day here in SoCal so I am wearing Crocs and I hear that is cool again, so...
“Age is just a number. Life and aging are the greatest gifts that we could possibly ever have.” – Cicely Tyson
Follow those tips and Don't fight it
All snark aside, I really do love those moments that make me think "oh man I'm old." That narrative that society has drilled into our brains. In those moments I'm reminded of all I've been through in my life and so grateful that I am able to laugh at myself in those moments- that is one of the best ways to keep that youthfulness alive. "Age is just a number." True, in the sense that the number doesn't have to dictate how we act or dress or behave but the number shouldn't be ignored. If you are someone who turns 39 every year- why would you want to forfeit all those years of knowledge and wisdom? Owning our age doesn't have to mean that we are accepting defeat and turning in to a decrepit version of ourselves. In fact, I think the more we embrace our age and all that comes with it the more youthfulness we can gain because we will be more willing to play and explore and learn and continue to grow without being inhibited by our need to stay young- whatever that means.
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